Home!!! Now time to make changes!

What a wonderful vacation we had. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with family. We went to Disney's Hollywood Studios and Legoland, and then we settled in for a few days of just chilling out together. We loved going to the beach. I'd forgotten how much I loved splashing in the waves.

So, now that I'm home I need to get serious. I already know what to do to get my eating in check. Saying that part is easy isn't quite right, because honestly if eating the right things to stay trim and healthy were easy obesity wouldn't be such a problem in this country. But, I know what to do. I don't have to search for way to eat right. I know what to do, I just need to do it.

Now, what I need to do is figure out the gym thing. I basically have two options that I'm looking at. One is going back to Gold's Gym. I love Gold's Gym. They have great classes (Power and Kick are awesome, and I'm dying to try Zumba.) There are two locations, one of which has a pool - big bonus for the colder months. The other option is this gym a bunch of friends have been going to. I don't know if there are classes, but I don't think there are. But what they do have, if I'm understanding my friends' explanations correctly, is someone to teach you what to do and set you on a routine. Not only that, he monitors your progress... something I need. I need someone to hold me accountable. Someone who won't accept my excuses. Someone who will know my limitations and help me on a path to getting fit and working around those limitations. (Mainly, my knee. I can't do squats or lunges at this point due to knee issues.)

I could kick myself in the tail for gaining back what I had lost. I had lost about 30 pounds, but two hand surgeries, and knee surgery, and problems with the other knee derailed me. I let excuses get in the way of at least eating healthily. I guess I figured if I couldn't exercise like I had been, then what was the point?? Then I joined Weight Watchers and did well.. until I lost my job. Had to quit going to WW because of money, so I made excuses about why I couldn't eat right. I gotta quit making excuses and start doing.

Ugh... I hate that this is so dang hard. Guess it's time to stop making excuses and start making decisions.. like what I'm finally going to do to get fit and healthy.

Vacation

Isn't that a beautiful word???

We're visiting my in-laws... it's awesome... get to spend time with family and go to the beach! Win-win!!

But, and there's always a but... I had to get a swimsuit. The one I'd worn for a few years (yes, years!) is pretty worn out. So, off my mother-in-law and I went in search of a swimsuit.

First stop - Kohl's. What in the world were the people at Kohl's thinking? I know they have buyers who select the clothing they are going to carry in their stores. They must think that if someone is overweight that their brain is too full of fat cells to have any sort of fashion sense. Or something. I found only one suit that was tolerable, and it was $92. That's about $75 more than I'd want anyone to spend on a suit they found simply "tolerable."

So, we went to Lane Bryant. There I was able to find a tankini and bottom that I actually liked, though I must admit I'm showing a bit more up top than I've ever shown. I'm sure that will make for an interesting first few trip out, either too the beach or pool.

So, tomorrow will be the first trip out... the beach. I'm kinda scared. LOL

Ash Wednesday - Lent, Day 1

Being raised Southern Baptist, giving up something for Lent wasn't really our thing. Honestly, I thought it was a Catholic thing. Now, having been married to a Methodist and going to a Methodist church for 11 years now, I'm sorta getting the idea of Lent. I've only observed Lent once. I had decided to give up coffee. The only problem with that was the first day of Lent was smack-dab in the middle of a vacation week. We were at Disney. Our family happily got up and carried ourselves down to the breakfast buffet. Not thinking, I made myself a cup of coffee. Halfway through the cup I remembered what day it was, and I nearly choked. LOL

So, this year our preacher has encouraged us to do not give something up, but to take something on. I'm still trying to get the hang of giving something up. I think the problem I had with the idea of giving something up was that in my mind it needed honor God somehow, and I couldn't figure out how giving up coffee would honor God or help me grow spiritually. So, I've decided to take something on this year. But, wouldn't you know that when I find a way to honor God in Lent by taking something on, I also find a way to do it though giving something up??? What's a girl to do but do both, right?

Taking on: Prayer. I will be honest and say that I don't pray as often as I should. Oh yeah, I pray when someone's sick or I'm in a bind. But honest, daily talks with God.... I don't do that. I do it sporadically, at best. I'm committing to pray for our church and the school system, specifically.

Giving Up: I've decided to give up sweets (candy, cakes/cupcakes, cookies, desserts, etc), sugared sodas, and junk snack food. Laying in bed last night, really wondering what to do about Lent this year - and wondering if I was even going to do anything about it at all - it hit me. I've been trying to lose weight for so long, and I always get sidetracked by what out to be indulgences. I don't honor God with my body. I've taken horrible care of the body He gave me. It's time I treated the body He gave me with the care He'd want me to. God doesn't want me to be fat and unhealthy. So, I'm ousting some of the very things that stand in the way of me getting and being healthy. I've already limited the things I'm giving up, but I'll be honest and say that I've indulged in them a lot more than I should lately.

So, there you go. In 40 days(I think)I hope to have a better relationship with God, and also be be healthier.

Moommy

Yesterday I was flipping through pages of one of my notebooks because my husband said our daughter had drawn on some of the pages. I ran across a picture she drew for me, and at the top she wrote my name. "Moommy."

One one hand, it was hysterical. On the other hand, I thought maybe it was a bit sad. The "moo" part, I mean. I know my daughter wasn't comparing me to a cow. But so many days I feel like a cow. You know. Stand around (sitting, in my case) doing nothing but eat and watch the day slip by. There's a lot of life I could be living, but I'd gotten used to being my size. I'd come to accept that "I'm just going to be fat." I'd gotten comfortable doing nothing.

I've toyed with getting fit. I go on various diets. I've got a full shelf of diet and exercise books upstairs in the bedroom. If I put them out at a yard sale, people would look at them and then at me, and then they'd walk away saying those books must not work. I've come to the realization that a diet isn't going to work. I've got to change the way I view food and my diet (not a thing I go on, but the foods I consistently put in my body)needs a drastic overhaul.

This lifestyle change, because I refuse to call it a diet, is hard as heck. I wish I could tell you that I don't crave or want the junk. That hasn't happened for me yet, but it's getting better. Weekends are still my undoing, and this one has been no different. But I think it's been better. I'm working to make today as good as I can so I can say the whole weekend wasn't wasted.

Goals for the Week
1. Drink my two Herbalife shakes each day and have a healthy meal at dinner. Have the Herbal Tea with my shakes.
2. Drink 128oz of water each day. That's 4 quarts. It's 1 gallon. It's doable.
3. Move! Aim for 30 minutes of exercise each day. I wish I could get back to Gold's Gym. It's a bit odd to say I love a gym, but I really do love that place. Since I can't do the gym right now, I'm aiming for activity on the Wii. I've got Wii Fit, Zumba, Wii Active, and I've borrowed Just Dance 2. I have no excuse to not do something.

Weekends

Weekends usually are my downfall. I don't know why, they just are. I'm trying to make a conscious effort to not let this weekend throw me off balance. I didn't do too well last night. I ran to the store for a couple things before dinner (I was hungry) and came home with a chocolate cake. So, I've got to tap into every ounce of willpower within me to not eat anymore. I'm actually hope Patrick and the kids take care of it while I'm gone today. Sad, I know.

I did start my Saturday off right, though my knees weren't pleased with me. I got up this morning and went on a 1-mile walk. I know to many people one mile is nothing. To me, it's huge. I had surgery on my left knee back in November. (I fell back in June and injured my knee.) My right knee has hurt me off and on for years, but never consistently enough to need to do anything about it. It started hurting more consistently in January. Figures, huh? First of the year and my deductible isn't met now. I really don't want to have surgery on my right knee, so I'm hoping getting the weight off will take the pressure off my right knee and ease the pain.

Anyway, I'm really proud of myself for getting my walk in. About halfway my knees started bothering me, but I kept going. (My only other option was to sit down and wait for Patrick to get back from Home Depot.) It took me 24:16 to walk 1.08 miles. I hope to improve that time and distance, but for now, it's movement. It's more than I was doing. So I'm happy.

Water, Water, Water... and More Water

I think I'm going to float away. Seriously. I've been told I should have half my body weight in ounces of water each day. If I were 120 pounds, this wouldn't be a problem. But holy moly!!!! I'm drinking 4 quarts, or more, of water here.

Today is the first day I'm actually doing this. I've known for a about a week that I should be drinking this insane amount of water, but I haven't been doing it. I decided that today I was going to start. My goal is to do this every day for the rest of the month, with the exception of when I am traveling. Stopping every hour (or more) isn't exactly a good idea on a long trip. Of course, I've heard that when your body actually has the water it needs and it's gotten used to getting this much water each day, you don't have to potty as much. I'll believe that when/if it happens.

So, it's a short post today.... I need to go potty.

It's Not About Being Perfect, Just Better

There was a cooking show on a while back where one lady made a "regular" dish, and the other lady made a lightened up version of the same dish. I wish I could remember the name of the show, but I don't guess that's important. What stuck with me from the show was their view. They would often say, "It's not about being perfect, just better."

So often when I try to lose weight (which I've done often and for years and years) I give up after I fall. My last blog entry was about getting back up when you fall. This goes right along with it. So many times I've messed up, and I've let that one mess up completely throw me off. Maybe it was one meal that I completely lost all willpower and ate what I know I shouldn't have. Or maybe it was drinking a regular Coke when I should have had diet... or even better - water!

Whatever it is that I did that I viewed as a "mess up" would usually lead to the "well, I've already blown it for today, so I might has well eat/drink this, too" mentality. Or my favorite... "I'll get back on track tomorrow." I bet I'm not the only one who says that. I know I can't be the only one who says that. If I were, there wouldn't be so many people who are always on a diet - maybe the same diet over and over again or maybe bouncing around from one diet to the next. I've done both of these. How many times have I joined Weight Watchers or tried a variety of the popular diets out there? Way too many to be proud of. And yet, here I am right where I've always been. Obese and miserable. It seems tomorrow rarely ever came when it came to getting back on track.

Yesterday as I was checking out of the grocery store, not really thinking I picked up a 20oz Coke. I was halfway through the Coke when I realized I was laying off all sodas, regular and diet. My first thought was "I've already had half, might as well have the rest." And I did. In that past, that would have been my undoing. It would have been weeks before I "started over."

After the Coke, I got to thinking. How much regular soda had I been consuming in a day - just a few days before? I can guarantee it was more than 20oz. So I had a slip. It happens. Life isn't perfect. Weight loss isn't perfect. It's not all or nothing. There will be good days and not-so-good days. What's important is that I learn from those slips. What I learned was that the slips happen, but I can't let an "ooops" define me. I'm too special to be defined by my mistakes.

So how did my night end? Did I fall back into my "well I blew it today, I'll start over tomorrow" routine? I'm proud to say I did not. So, I had a Coke. I also had a delicious dinner of homemade chicken tacos, Caesar salad, and rice. (The rice wasn't that good - I tossed the leftovers. It was one of those Mexican rice bagged things. Yeah. Not a fan.) I didn't snack on junk food that night. When I got hungry later on, rather than looking for junk I ate the leftover salad.

I can't strive for perfection. I'll never reach it, and I'll only end up disappointed. But each day I can strive to be better. Sometimes I'll blow it. That OK... so long as in the long run I'm better!