Friday, July 19, 2013

What my children see....

Not exactly seeing myself in a positive light here. *sigh*

Tonight I watched Jacqui's episode on Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. My kids were watching with me. They were only halfway paying attention, but when they showed her in her wedding dress it caught my daughter's attention. Here's how the conversation went.

C: Mom, when you got married were you like you are now?
Me: Look on the wall at the picture.
C: Yeah, you were. But not as bad as you are now.


I'm not feeling the drive tonight. Mainly, I'm just feeling low. I'm hoping it has something to do with me being worn out and not me getting ready for another fall.

I need help.

Here's me on my wedding day, November 2000.


  1. This is only "ONE MOMENT" in your life! You are stronger than you were then. You have battled this for a LONG time and you ARE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Tell C and we ALL make mistakes and you are trying VERY HARD to get healthier. Tell her that you can use her help! THEN show her MY picture when I weighed 350! Tell her that even though you were smaller then than you are now, you are the SAME person on the inside! You are a wonderful mother, wife, daughter and GOD IS NOT THRU WITH YOU YET! I love you!

    1. Thanks, Mom! I love you, too! This week also wasn't a good one, food-wise for me. I'm going to use it as a learning tool rather than dwell on it.

  2. Don't give up. YOU CAN DO THIS. Do it for your children, so they have a role model to look up to and learn from. If you're like me, this is not your first time feeling this way, and may not be your last. You just have to find a way to get to the fighter in you. I wish I could tell you something magical to make you feel better. My daughter told me the other day that my belly was fat. It made me sad, but kids just say what is on their minds! Tomorrow is a new, beautiful day!!
    "But I Don't Wanna!!!"

    Does your body ever tell you this? Say, when your alarm goes off in the morning and you're just so comfy cozy in your bed? I know mine does.

    They say you're supposed to listen to your body. (Well, at least that's the excuse I use when I don't wanna).

    Then I realize, 'Hey, that's not my body. That's my Lazy kicking in.'

    My Lazy. That little voice that makes things sound so good. That thing that makes the bad decisions sound a little less, well, bad.

    Have you met your Lazy? That creature that tells you it'd just be easier to eat that cupcake on the counter than chop up the fruit in your crisper? That evil little being that says twenty more minutes in bed will feel so much better than a 2 mile jog?

    I've listened to my Lazy for way too long. My Lazy got me to 265 pounds. My Lazy had me creeping towards diabetes and heart disease, high cholesterol and a shorter life span.

    My Lazy needs to be a little less, well, lazy.

    My Lazy hasn't liked me the past several mornings. My Lazy tried to get me to roll over when the alarm went off.

    My Lazy has been defeated with hikes, jogs and core exercises at 5:30am for the past week.

    My Warrior is enjoying a winning streak.

    My Warrior has gotten me out of bed and into my workout gear. My Warrior has gotten me outside for hikes and jogs and back inside for stretching and core work.

    My Warrior has been kicking my Lazy's butt.

    My Lazy has been left in the dust, wounded and disappointed. My Warrior is triumphant.

    You can have all the support in the world. A top notch personal trainer. Kids who want to cheer you on. Family and friends who revel in your accomplishments. What you really need to find is your Warrior.

    My Lazy is a loud one, I tell ya. The attention seeker. The drama queen. My Warrior? Just a quiet voice inside. I found that I just needed to block out the rowdy noise to listen a little more closely so I could focus on my Warrior.

    1. Thank you for sharing that. I hadn't seen it before, but it's so true. My Lazy is loud. It yells. I've got to work on getting my Warrior to speak up!

  3. Oops, Someone sent me the story "But I don't Wanna" from this site:

    I printed it out tonight and I think I am going to hang it in my bathroom for motivation!

  4. This is an opportunity. An opportunity to self motivate. An opportunity to teach your kids about how you got here. An opportunity to teach them about proper nutrition and portion size.