This video by Dove has made its rounds on Facebook, but until tonight I have never clicked on it to watch it. I am so sad that I didn't. I, like so many others see myself completely different from others. The way I see myself is honestly not as good as how many others see me. When I look in the mirror, I see this fat, ugly person. And yes, I am fat. That's a proven fact. Based on the definition of obesity, I am not only fat - I am obese. Morbidly obese. But that ugly part. Yeah. That part. Who the heck decided that? Did someone tell me that? Did someone do something to make me feel that way?
The answer is I did this to myself. I lumped my disappointment with my weight in with my entire being. I let fat define my self-worth. I let comments from well-meaning family members about my weight and appearance define who I was and what I thought about myself for too long. "You were so pretty when you were thinner." "You'll never lose weight, you're part of the _______ family." "You're on Weight Watchers again?" I can't control what others say or how they feel. Those negative comments came from people who I know love me, and who thought they were helping - either to motivate me to lose, or to help me accept what I am or who I am. I am not upset with them for saying it, but I don't want that to define me anymore.
Yes, I'm fat. But I'm not ugly. I don't care what society thinks is beautiful. I may not be model-beautiful, but I am me. And I am my own beautiful. And dang it - I'm flippin' worth it. So, tomorrow morning when I go to the gym, and when I tell myself that I can't do it - I'm going to remind myself that I'm beautiful, and I'm worth it. When I stumble and eat a cookie, I'm going to do my absolute best to not let that derail me.
Here's the video. Dove Real Beauty Sketches. If you haven't seen it, please don't ignore it and move on. It's really eye-opening.