Wow! I made it through two days of carb-cycling... and I'm pretty sure my family and friends are going to get tired of me saying, "Chris Powell says....." LOL Two days in, and I consider them both a success. I wasn't nearly as hungry today as I was yesterday. Yesterday I wondered at some times if I could stand being hungry this much. But honestly, I think it was my body saying, "What the heck do you think you're doing?"
The first two days were low-carb, so that means tomorrow is high-carb. Yay! Fruit!! That might just be the hardest thing to get used to is not eating fruit whenever I want. But I can do this. I can handle strategically eating my fruits if it's going to give me the results I'm after. Not only that, but Sunday will be my "Reward Day." I need to go back and see if I still eat five small meals on the reward day, or if I eat on my family's schedule. We are not all on the same schedule, and while it makes it a little more challenging, they know why I'm doing what I'm doing. Patrick and I sat down with the kids and explained to them why things are different now.
Which brings me to my next topic... Why the heck am I doing this? Why now? What's taken me so long to get serious?
Last week we were on vacation in Florida. Patrick's parents live there, so we visit often. While we were there, my father-in-law got everyone tickets to go to Andretti Thrill Park. Go-karts. Small seats. Big butt. There was no way I would fit in that little bitty thing. I told Patrick I didn't think I would participate because I was pretty sure I wouldn't fit. After his first time in the go-kart, he came to me and told me I had made a good call... it was a tight squeeze for him.
My father-in-law had bought tickets for all of us to go karting, and all I could do was the miniature golf. As I stood on the side and watched, I had a lot of time to think. I decided then and there that I was not going to sit out and watch my family have fun anymore. I couldn't go karting. I struggle with amusement park rides. I can't ride a roller coaster anymore (though I'm not entirely sure I want to). I don't comfortably sit in an airplane seat, and I have to get a seat belt extender. Physical activity is a struggle. At the park, I can't play on the equipment with my kids. I watch other parents go down slides with their kids, and I look at the slide and try to determine if the slide is more narrow than my butt.
This is no way to live, folks. I'm not happy. I'm always embarrassed about my appearance. I stopped wearing makeup most of the time because in my warped way of thinking I figured maybe if I didn't dress it up people wouldn't look. And then I figured that makeup wouldn't help anyway. It doesn't disguise obesity.
So, here it is. I'm being accountable. If you've ever watched Extreme Weight Loss, one of the things Chris Powell says (see, I told you I'm gonna say that) is that it's important to get that first weigh-in done in your sports bra and shorts and in front of your loved ones (and apparently a viewing audience on TV). Well, I'm not exactly on the show, and I can't exactly gather my friends and family to strip down and step on a scale. So, this is the best I could do. It's taking every ounce of courage I have to post this here, not knowing who might look or what they might think. I guess if anyone comments I might know what they are thinking. Know that this is a starting point. It isn't pretty. It is downright embarrassing.
We talked to the kids tonight and explained why I'm doing this... why I'm eating five smaller meals a day, and not necessarily at the same times the rest of the family eats... why it appears that I'm always eating (trust me, it feels like that)... and we also talked about how to be supportive. One of the things we discussed was no making fun of me. I'm out of shape. I'm fat. There are things I can't do. Their job is to love me anyway and encourage me. Family, friends, and even strangers who see this blog... I ask the same of you. Please don't put me down or laugh at me... I don't think you will, but I just feel like I need to tell you what I need from you. This is hard enough as it is. Please encourage me. When I fall, help me get back up. Tell me I can do it. When I don't believe it, believe it for me. Please. I know I'm motivated now, but there are going to be days when I am not feeling so motivated. Help me remember why I want this so much.
If you made it this far, you need a cookie... but I don't have one to give you. I can offer you some avocado. LOL Thank you for your support. Love you..... Tricia