Saturday, June 13, 2015

Dear Chris and Heidi

My head started getting in my way today. I've been saying all week that when I get home from vacation I'm going to start your program. Well, I'm starting on Monday. However, today I started fretting. What if I can't do this? What if it's hard?

What if? What if? What if?

So, I posted on my page asking if anyone had done carb cycling and for any tips on food prep and such. I didn't get a "yeah, I've done that," but I did get a response from someone saying they just looked at it on your page and it looks doable. I asked if she wanted to do it with me, and she said she needed a little motivation - and I might be just what she needed. She's getting the book.

Amazing!!! Here I am freaking myself out... haven't even started yet... and maybe I'm going to be able to encourage someone else. What a way to get out of the freaked-out state, huh?

I'm still a little scared. What if it doesn't work? What if I screw it up? What will others think of me? Will I be embarrassed if it doesn't work? It's all this self-doubt I have to work through. But I finally came to the realization that what others possibly think of me or any embarrassment I might feel if I struggle can't be any worse that what others think of me or how embarrassed I am now at nearly 300 pounds.

So, Monday I start. Freaking out and all.

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